Don’t Feel Sorry For Yourself

“When you mess up-fix it, when you fail-fall forward and learn, when you suffer loss-heal and always pay it forward.” – Val Uchendu

Listen, failure is inevitable. If you’re human, you have definitely failed at some point in your life. When you’re a perfectionist like I am, it can be a hard truth to swallow. Growing up, I was always very hard on myself. I used to think failure was proof that I wasn’t any good. As I matured, I realized that failure is the reason I am successful today. The moments I failed were actually great opportunities to grow and do better. Recently, I hit a hard road and made a mistake. I cried so hard and I wanted to just sit in my closet and mope. Thankfully, I spoke to my mum and she said “Deborah, don’t you dare waste another moment feeling sorry for yourself.” And I responded, “But I messed up big time.” The following words became my inspiration for this post. She reminded me that life is a journey filled with multiple lessons acquired from failure. I decided to not spend another moment feeling sorry for myself. I decided that I will live bolder, love harder and aim higher. The next time you get tempted to fall into self-pity, remember the following:

  1. When You Mess Up-Fix It: Is the situation fixable? Do you need to apologize or physically fix something? If it is fixable, find solutions to better your situation. If not, learn and move on!
  2. When You Fail-Fall Forward and Learn: Never stay on the floor after the fall. The greatest humans always bounce back. Have courage to get up and take one more step. Failure is the perfect opportunity to learn and become a better version of yourself.
  3. When You Suffer Loss- Heal and Always Pay It Forward: There is always healing. Regardless of what has been lost, God will always deliver healing to the broken places in your heart. Because I have been forgiven, I can and will forgive. When you receive healing, extend it to those around you who are in need.

I urge you to not spend time feeling sorry yourself. Instead, choose to forgive your past and learn from your mistakes!

Much love,

Deborah Queen


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