But, He Said He Loves Me

“Must I go bound while you go free
Must I love a man who doesn’t love me
Must I be born with so little art
As to love a man who’ll break my Heart” 
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince 

Don’t believe a man who claims to love you but does nothing to keep you.

I’m sure most of us have had our share of failed relationships experience. Typically, he starts off by promising to give you the world and ends up delivering failed promises and “good intentions.” Now, this blog is not intended to bash men in any way. However, I do intend to encourage you to guard your heart when dealing with men.

One of the issues I have with fairytale is a longing for the feeling of love rather than the action of love. Anybody can claim to love you or actually be in love with you. However, love on its own cannot sustain a relationship. I’ve had a situation where a guy claimed to love me but never made any effort to keep me forever. He had so many opportunities to take our relationship to the next level, but he kept falling short every single time. All I heard were excuses and more excuses. Now, I’m not saying there were not some valid reasons, but majority of our issues has to do with his lack of action.

If you can relate to this or you’re currently in a relationship where you feel like this, keep reading to gain more understanding on why love has to backed by action.

  1. Feelings and Emotions Are Fleeting: The mistake people make when understanding love is focusing on the feeling rather than the action. Love is a mixture of emotion and action. When God said he loves us, he didn’t just speak words or relied on his affirmation. He actually gave up his son to express his love to us. In order for your relationship to grow and mature in love, you must have both emotion and action.
  2. Stability cannot be built on “good intentions”: A person wishing to do good and a person who actually does good are two different people. Wishful thinking does not take you to the next stage. I can claim I want to work for Toyota for a whole year, but if I never put out any job application, I would never get a job at Toyota. The same theory works in a relationship. You and your partner can talk about love and marriage for eternity, but if he does not develop and follow a plan to merge your lives, it will never happen.
  3. There is truth in action: It’s easier to lie with words that to lie with your body language.  1 John 3:18 says “…let us not love with words or speech but with action and in truth.” Words are powerful, but action will always be greater than words. In action, you will find the truth you are looking for.

Therefore, guard your heart and focus on the action of the man rather than the words you receive. This might save you from a multitude of heart breaks.

I hope you found this blog insightful. Thanks for reading beauties! Until next time, you can keep up with me on Instagram @iam_Deborah.

Love,

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2 thoughts on “But, He Said He Loves Me

  1. If this ain’t the truth! It’s so hard for some people to pay attention to actions and not just the sweet words people spout in their ears. And that goes for every relationship really, even friends. Anyway, thank God because it’s a lesson learned for the next relationship. It’s only truly a tragedy when the lesson isn’t learned, as is the case for most people.

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  2. Well said DeborahQueen, giving is the proof of love. I find this write-up insightful in that it applies to ladies as well as men. It’s imperative for us as men to look beyond words and focus more on our lady’s actions in order to groom our relationships better. I also learned as a man I must learn to identify and maximize opportunities to take my relationship to the best level. I also learned not to hold on to any relationship that has no chance of advancement. Thanks for sharing.

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