“If someone isn’t compatible with you don’t make them feel they are not good enough for anyone.” ―
Ever been in a relationship where you felt like you put in 110% but, you were never good enough for your partner? I have and it sucked.
I once dated a guy who made me feel like I was not good enough. He cheered me on sometimes but, more often, I never could measure up to what he wanted. No matter what I did, I was always left with back-handed comments, pieces of him and unappreciated. Luckily for me, I’ve always known how to uplift myself and be my own cheer leader so I remained positive no matter what. However, as this pattern of behavior continued, our relationship suffered and we separated.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has gone though a relationship like the one described above. In fact, there are so many ladies and men out there that put in 110% into a relationship only to be handed the short end of the stick. It’s important to understand that you can be the whole package and never be enough for the wrong person.
I don’t believe I’m perfect. However, I have qualities that make me a great package. It did not matter whether I cooked, encouraged, planned a surprise, cleaned, gave my time and energy to his needs, exercise patience, apologize, speak, be silent, I was always doing something wrong. At some point, I began to wonder if something was in fact wrong with me. I found myself in a situation where I was constantly getting beat down by words, lack of intimacy and coldness.
If you’re in this type of dating situation, here are some things to consider:
- You Will Never Be Enough For The Wrong Person: Listen, if someone finds every reason in the world to not give you a 100% of themselves, walk away. I say this because it is easy to get caught up in the name of love. You need to understand that nothing you do will ever be enough for the wrong person. Don’t force it, just do yourself a favor and leave while there’s less damage.
- Don’t Let Another Person’s Insecurities Make You Feel Like You’re Not Enough: You have to be confident in yourself. Never let another person’s insecurities shut down your confidence. A lot of times, insecure people find strength in pulling others down to their level. I had a boyfriend who refused to compliment me because he felt like I would become too proud. If someone tells you this, run! This is not love.
- Stop Believing You Can Fix Them: If you’re in a situation where you keep letting the person you love constantly bring you down in the name of hope, you’re only hurting yourself. You cannot fix another human being. Only God and the person can do that. I’ve stayed too long in a relationship that I had no business staying in because of sentiments. He talked about how everyone in his life had turned their backs on him and he could not trust anyone. Even when I was unhappy, I remained in the relationship because I was hopeful that he would change and see that his ways were toxic. Don’t waste unnecessary time trying to fix someone.
- You Will Be More Than Enough For The Right Person: When you meet the right person, you will not have to second guess your worth. They will spend time appreciating your beauty and encouraging you in love and patience. Don’t settle for pieces of a person when you can have a whole person to love and be loved by. Until then, leave the seat open for the right one.
I hope you found this blog insightful and I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this topic. Thanks for reading beauties! Until next time, you can keep up with me on Instagram @iam_Deborah.