Why He Ghosted You

“Ghosting” is a term used to describe the sudden radio silence we’re victim to when someone we’re dating decides they’re no longer interested in us, but doesn’t have the balls to just say so. – Thought Catalogue  

You meet a guy and y’all click. I mean, the energy is amazing and he’s coming in very  correct. He’s consistent, cares about your day to day activities. Been on a couple of dates and things seem to moving forward. The weeks turn into months of steady communication and great vibes. Just when you think you might be moving into the relationship stage, all of a sudden….silence.

At some point we’ve experienced some kind of ghosting in our dating life. Ghosting is one of the most disrespectful thing a person can do to another person. It shows a lack of character, empathy and maturity.  

“Ghosting has a lot to do with someone’s comfort level and how they deal with their emotions,” said Dr. Vilhauer told the New York Times.

When you find yourself in a situation where you’ve been ghosted, it might be important for you to find out why you have been ghosted.

Here Are Four Reasons Why He Ghosted You:

  1. He’s Been Seeing Someone Else While Dating You: Majority of people aren’t 100% single. Typically there’s a fling here and another fling there. It is very important to communicate and get clarity on where a relationship is headed. These conversations should definitely include whether or not both of you decide to exclusively date each other while trying to figure out if a relationship could work. A guy I was talking to for 6 months ghosted me out of the blue. I mean, we were consistently texting, calling and even making plans and I never heard from him again. Even though I suspected he was seeing someone else, I decided to call him out to speak the truth. He cowardly told me he was seeing someone else. I didn’t see the need to ask questions or tell him that his actions were wrong during that conversation because; a) he was a 29 year old adult, b) he’d shown me that he lacked character c) he apologized after he was caught. When he finally said the truth, I just hung up, deleted all contact and moved on with my life. There’s no reason to be stuck on a person who ghosts you. Yes, what they did was disrespectful but, you need to know their actions reflect the type of person they are and not you.
  2. He’s Emotionally Unstable or Unavailable: Sometimes, the guy may just be emotionally unavailable because he still has feelings with his ex or he’s in love with someone he can’t have. Maybe the whole time he was talking and investing time in you, he was hoping you would fill a void you obviously can’t fill. In this type of situation, it’s not your fault he decided to use you as a rebound to sort his emotions out. It’s not fair to you and I’m sorry you had to go through that. You might find that as you’re starting to fall, the guy suddenly withdraws because he was playing with your emotions.
  3. He’s Been Lying About Who He Is: These days, anyone can pretend to be anything. The online world gives you so much access to become whatever you want. In this day and age you have to go further to find out if a man is truly as single as he projects. There was a guy I was communicating with that did not tell me he had a whole girlfriend till I figured out something was off.  My rule is if a guy dodges your calls and withdraws communication without a good reason, he should be canceled. Also, when a person is lying, they tend to run into a dead end. At this point, he will most likely retreat before he gets caught in his web of lies.
  4. He’s Immature and Lacks Basic Human Decency: This pretty much sums up all reasons why you’ve been ghosted. There is no respectable reason why any body should ghost someone they’ve invested time, energy and emotions to. Even if there was an emergency, there should be some form of communication. I’ve had friends and family that went through traumatic events and still communicated and explained that they needed space. Ghosting is a sign of immaturity and lack of respect. When a guy does this, just let him go.

I hope you found this blog insightful and I hope you use these tips to reflect and become a better version of yourself. What are you thoughts and experiences with someone ghosting you? Thanks for reading beauties! Until next time, you can keep up with me on Instagram @iam_Deborah.



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